i want flowers

today i heard a story.

there was a girl, a freshman in college who had a huge crush on this tall handsome guy. she would always call him superman when she was talking about him to her friends. she was always too shy to ever go up and talk to him. but one day when they did meet she found out his name was clark (how perfect is that?! superman's real name is clark?!) she thought it was meant to be. Her and clark found out more about each other (like they were both from california and they were high school rivals) and eventually they started dating. christmas was coming and they were both so excited to go home to be with their families and each other. she forgot to buy a plane ticket so clark offered his to her and he drove with his brother. the next day she got home and her dad told her that there had been an accident.

then he said a guy that she went to school with, had died...

...his name was clark.

she was devastated. she didn't even get to say goodbye. they had spent the day before together and planned to see each other tomorrow how could he be gone?!

this story got me thinking about my lesson in english about having a 'living funeral'

why do we wait to tell someone we love them after they have passed, at their funeral?

tell me you love me today.

why do we give thousands of splendid flowers to people once they are dead? they won't see them.

bring me flowers today. let me enjoy them, today.

let me know you care. today.

show me you care. today.

don't wait.

but i can't tell you to bring me flowers because then it's not genuine and you are just doing it because i told you to.

give me flowers because you want to.

and some people say "oh don't worry, some people, they just have funny ways of showing that they care"

but i know that's not true.

i know you painted her nails, just because.

i know you played with her hair, just because.

i know you brought her a rose on a random day, just because.

i know you picked out an outfit and laid it on her bed with a note that said meet me at 7:30, just because.

why can't you do any of that for me?

just because.

because you care about me... don't you?

but when i asked you about it you said "she was my girlfriend suzie. you aren't."

that hurt.

why can't i be? i mean, am i not? all the movies and books would say that i am.

but i guess i can't force you into loving me.

or even caring for that matter.

i suppose what i'm trying to say is that...

i want you to know that i care about you, i love you, am here for you. i don't want you to leave like clark did.

but i'm also trying to tell you that...




i want flowers.